Nasrettin Hoca

A few weeks ago a conversation class tried to introduce me to the wit of a medieval Turkish jokester named Nasrettin Hoca. A dominant figure in folklore, Nasrettin Hoca is known for his short comical anecdotes, and everyone in Turkey knows these jokes.

The story the class told me, which I saw later again in my Turkish textbook, is one of the more famous ones, and goes like this:

One day Nasrettin Hoca bought 3 kilos of liver at the market and had it sent home to his wife so she could cook dinner with it. However, his wife gave the meat to a neighbor. When Nasrettin Hoca came home, he asked his wife where the meat was and she replied that the cat had eaten it. Nasrettin Hoca promptly got out a scale and weighed the cat. "The cat is 3 kilos," he said, "and I bought 3 kilos of meat. So if this is the cat, where is the meat?"

One of the students later brought me a whole file of Nasrettin Hoca jokes. Here are some other cute ones.

One day Nasrettin Hoca was standing at the edge of a river. His friend waved to him from the opposite bank. "Nasrettin Hoca, how do I get back to the other side of the river?" he called. Nasrettin Hoca called back, "You're already on the other side of the river!"
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Once Nasrettin was invited to deliver a sermon. When he got on the pulpit, he asked, Do you know what I am going to say? The audience replied "no", so he announced, "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about!" and left.

The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time, when he asked the same question, the people replied yes. So Nasrettin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time!" and left.

Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Hoca to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "yes" while the other half replied "no". So Nasrettin said "Let the half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the half who don't," and left.

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In the village a woman was giving birth to her child and as it was a difficult birth the relatives waited for many hours. So they sent for the Hoca.
He came, listened to their story and went away. He returned in a few moments with a toy that made a squeaking sound. They asked him why and he said:
“Because the child will hear the “voice” of the toy and will very quickly come out to play.”
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One day the Hoca bought a piece of liver, and on his way home he met a friend who gave him a recipe for a delicious new liver dish. While he was walking, a crow swooped by, grabbed the piece of liver from the Hoca's hands, and flew away with it. Nasrettin Hoca watched the bird fly off, and then called after him, "Your dinner won't be as delicious as mine was going to be, because I have the recipe!"
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Nasrettin Hoca borrowed a cauldron from his neighbor, and returned it a few days later with a smaller bowl inside. "What's this?" the friend asked. "Your cauldron gave birth!" Nasrettin Hoca replied. The friend was very pleased. He thanked Nasrettin Hoca and took the cauldron and bowl. A few weeks later the Hoca borrowed the cauldron but this time he didn't return it. Finally the neighbor went to him and said, "Where is my cauldron?" "It died," said the hoca. "Oh come on," said the neighbor. "A cauldron can't die." Nasrettin Hoca snapped back, "What? You believed that it gave birth, why can't you believe that it died?"